Tag Archives: анекдот на английском

THAT TERRIBLE INFANT – a funny story


THAT TERRIBLE INFANT

Annie had a beau. She also had a small brother of the proverbially troublesome age of five. One day at the dinner table they were teasing Annie about Mr. Lovejoy—that was the beau’s name—and Annie declared that she didn’t like him one bit, and said moreover that Mr. Lovejoy “had a soft spot in his head.” That called off the dogs, for a time at least, but her brother Bobbie took note.

The next evening Mr. Lovejoy called to see Annie. They were both in the parlor. He was sitting on the sofa, and she occupied a chair on the other side of the room. Bobbie strolled into the room, climbed up on the sofa and began a very diligent examination of Mr. Lovejoy’s head. He felt all over it, and looked puzzled. Mr. Lovejoy was puzzled likewise, and at length said, “Why, Bobbie, what are you examining my head for? Are you studying phrenology?” “No,” said the boy, “Sister Annie says you have a soft spot on your head somewhere, and I was just trying to find it!”

They made it up somehow, and Mr. Lovejoy began to call again, evidently with better results. For, one rainy day the father of the household was looking everywhere in the hall for his umbrella. “Where’s my umbrella, Annie?” asked he. “I believe somebody has carried it off.” And Bobbie said, “Annie’s beau stole it.” And Annie said, “Bobbie! how dare you say such a thing of Mr. Lovejoy?” And Bobbie said, “I know he did, because when he was giving you good-night at the hat-rack last night, I heard him say as plain as could be, ‘I’m going to steal just one!’”

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Некоторые словосочетания с синонимическими фразами и переводом:

1. Annie had a beau – Annie had a boyfriend – у Энни был ухажер

2. proverbially troublesome age of five – notoriously difficult age – общеизвестно трудный возраст

3. she didn’t like him one bit – she didn’t like him at all – он ей не нравился ни капли

4. had a soft spot in his head (idiom) – was kind of childish, ridiculous – у него была ума палата (идиома)

5. That called off the dogs (idiom) -that caused people to stop attacking or criticizing someone – это остановило их нападки (идиома)

6. took note – memorized that – намотал на ус/запомнил

7. a very diligent examination – a very thorough analysis – очень скрупулезное обследование

8. and at length said – and after a long period of time said – и после долгой паузы сказал

9. They made it up somehow – they settled it somehow – они это кое-как уладили

10. I heard him say as plain as could be, ‘I’m going to steal just one!’ – I heard precisely “I am going to kiss you just one time!” – я сам ясно слышал:”Я только один разок и все” – игра слов: буквально: “Я украду один поцелуй и все!”

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До встречи,

Дмитрий


She Dried Up – An Anecdote

“She Dried Up” – A Funny Story

The occupants of a Pullman sleeper were diligently trying to get some rest, but could not. There was a very thirsty woman in one of the berths who kept the whole car awake by her perpetual song of—“Oh, I am so dry. I am so dry. My, but I am dry. Dear me, what shall I do? I am so dry.”

“Hello, Porter!” at last sang out a gentleman across the way, “For Heaven’s sake give that woman some ice water, and plenty of it. I want to get some sleep.”

The Porter brought a glass of water. He brought a second glass. She drank them both—and took up her song afresh

“My, but I was dry. I was so dry. I never was so dry in all my life. Dear me, but I was dry.”

“Oh, Great Scott, woman,” sang out the man across the way, “dry up, and let me sleep!”

 

Некоторые интересные и полезные фразы с синонимами и переводом (приблизительным):

– occupants of a Pullman sleeper – passengers of a comfortable carriage “Pullman” – пассажиры спального вагона фирмы “Пульман”;

– were diligently trying – were trying persistently; were trying so much – пытались изо всех сил;

– one of the berths – one of the bunks; one of the places for sleeping in a carriage – одна из коек в вагоне;

– by her perpetual song – by her constant singing a song – из-за того, что она беспрестанно напевала песню;

– For Heaven’s sake – for God’s sake – Ради Бога!;

–  took up her song afresh – started singing that song again – запела свою песню снова;

– Great Scott! – Oh my God! – О Боже Мой!;

– dry up – shut up – заткнись; замолчи!

 

До встречи!

Дмитрий

WHAT THE STATUTE DID NOT SAY (funny story)

WHAT THE STATUTE DID NOT SAY 

When Benjamin F. Butler lived in Lowell, Massachusetts, he had a little black-and-tan dog. One morning, as he was coming down the street, followed by the dog, a policeman stopped him and told him that, in accordance with an ordinance just passed, he must muzzle the dog.

“Very well,” said Butler.

Next morning he came along with the dog, and the policeman again told him of the muzzling ordinance and requested him to muzzle the dog.

“All right,” snorted Butler. “It is a fool ordinance, but I’ll muzzle him. Let me pass.”

Next morning the policeman was on the lookout. “I beg your pardon, General,” he said, “but I must arrest you. Your dog is not muzzled.”

“Not muzzled?” shouted Butler. “Not muzzled? Well, look at him.”

The policeman looked more carefully at the dog and found a tiny, toy muzzle tied to its tail.

“General,” he expostulated, “this dog is not properly muzzled.”

“Yes, he is, sir,” asserted Butler. “Yes, he is. I have examined that idiotic statute and I find it says that every dog must wear a muzzle. It doesn’t say where the dog shall wear the muzzle, and I choose to decorate the tail of my dog instead of the head with this infernal contraption.”

Интересные и полезные словосочетания:

– in accordance with an ordinance just passed

– he must muzzle the dog

– muzzling ordinance

– he expostulated

– infernal contraption

Красивого вам английского!

До встречи!

 

A GOOD AFTER-DINNER SPEECH (anecdote)

A GOOD AFTER-DINNER SPEECH

It was his first banquet, and they were making speeches. Everybody was being called on for a speech, and he was in mortal terror, for he had never made a speech in his life. An old-timer at his side cruelly suggested that he “get under the table—or say a prayer.” His name was called and he got up with fear and trembling, and said:

“My friends, I never made a speech in all my  life, and I’m just scared nearly to death. A friend here beside me has suggested two things for me to do—to get under the table, or to pray. Well, I couldn’t get under the table without observation, and now that I am on my feet, I can’t think of any other prayer to say except one that I used to hear my sister Mary say in the morning when mother called us — ‘O Lord, how I do hate to get up!’”

Интересные и полезные фразы:

he was in mortal terror

I’m just scared nearly to death

get under the table without observation

До встречи,

Дмитрий